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Rapugruk Balls-of-Fire's
Glorious Defeat of a Great Wyrm Beast
Written by Zachary Brooks, February 20, 2002

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One day, in a far away sept, in one of the pack's head-quarters sat a pack doing nothing in particular. The alpha of the pack was Rapugruk Balls-of-Fire, a battle hardened ahroun with a great deal of honor and zeal for the battle against the Wyrm. The beta was Jimmy Sings-the-Lore, a galliard who had fought many battles as well, and sang the best songs in the whole sept. There was Katilyn Cuts-Wyrm's-Throat, another ahroun that trained every day to hone her skills and all the elders in the sept said that she was the up and coming star of the caern. Then there was the omega, a grouchy theurge named Harold Chants-All-Night.

In the pack was a single kinfolk named Edmund Hastings. The pack mostly ignored Edmund, except, of course, when the pack needed money, supplies, medical assistance, cleaning services, cooked food, or clean laundry.

The pack HQ was a log cabin in the forest, near the bawn of the caern, and all the members of the pack were minding their own business when the whole forest suddenly went silent. Realizing that this meant there was danger nearby, the pack assembled and readied for battle. Rapugruk polished his gleaming klaive, and Katilyn practiced a few combat moves to concentrate on the battle ahead. Jimmy also readied for battle, while Harold communed with the spirits. While all this was going on, Edmund saw a huge formor creeping through the forest. It was enormous, possibly 12 feet tall, and had dozens of gigantic tentacles that stuck out all over its body. Rapugruk quickly whipped up a battle plan, but of course one of the pack wasn't happy.

"Why do you always get to vanquish the foe, Rapugruk?" whined Jimmy, "I'm tired of holding the rear every time!" Katilyn was quick to cut in, "I'll see that the elders punish you for your disrespect!" Rapugruk immediately became angry. "As I have the most honor in our pack, I will decide who will hold the rear and who will vanquish the foe!" As could be expected, the other garou, Harold, lamented, "The spirits grow weary of your antics!" As the huge wyrm monster crept closer and closer, the garou bickered and shouted over silly things like submission and honor and who was the most experienced and so forth. The kin, Edmund, was quite used to this, as the garou had that same argument all the time. However, this time a huge monster was eating the whole forest and moving towards them, and the only thing the garou cared about was which one was the best of them all.

"Um.... Guys.... Maybe this argument could wait until after..." Edmund was immediately cut off with a hiss from Rapugruk about a kin's place.  As the garou continued to bicker like children, Edmund looked back at the monster and saw it was very close now. Seeing that the argument between the garou was unlikely to end before the formor gobbled them all up, Edmund grabbed his shotgun and charged at the thing. He fired and blew one of the thing's tentacles right off.

Naturally, the formor was very unhappy about a meek kin shooting off one of its tentacles. The horrible thing bellowed and wrapped its tentacles around poor Edmund from the armpits down to his toes. Edmund tried desperately to pry himself from the beast's grasp, but it was no contest and the thing was pulling him towards its mouth to eat him up. Edmund clawed hopelessly at the ground as he was pulled in, and thought he was doomed for sure. He prayed to God to save him, and at that moment it seemed God answered his prayer.

While all this was going on, Rapugruk was waving about his klaive and lecturing everyone in over dramatic phrases about how the klaive came to him for his great honor and bravery. Rapugruk never got enough of this lecture, but Katilyn became so angry, she slapped the klaive out of Rapugruk's hand and started screaming about honor or some such. While the garou continued to bicker at each other, the klaive flew through the air and stuck itself into the ground inches from the struggling Edmund's hands. The garou were so busy arguing, they didn't even notice.

At this point, Edmund was so desperate that he simply grabbed at the thing as something to hold on to. The klaive was slowly pulled out of the ground, however, and Edmund found the klaive in his hand as the formor lifted him up in the air and was readying to shove him into its mouth. Edmund looked at the klaive, dumbfounded for a few moments, and a split second before he would have been dropped into the monsters snapping teeth, be plunged the blade into the things head, right between the eyes. Edmund withdrew the klaive and stabbed the formor again and again, then sliced the thing's tentacles clean off.

The formor let out a death keen so loud it shook the trees of the forest. It was so loud, as a matter of fact, that the garou stopped screaming at each other and turned around to see Edmund. He was standing before the vanquished formor, panting heavily, covered in disgusting goo, and holding Rapugruk's klaive in his hand.

Rapugruk became enraged that Edmund would dare touch his klaive, and delivered a long-winded sermon about how kin should know his place while proceeding to beat the &$%@# out of Edmund.

Perhaps it was a good thing Edmund had to spend a month in the hospital with two broken legs, because then he didn't have to see the four garou of his pack fawned over by the elders and lavished with songs and honor for saving the caern from the most dangerous formor seen in years. Rapugruk was especially honored for coordinating the battle and was promoted to the next rank and was given the extra title, "Formor Slayer."

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Told by Jeremiah Seymore, Kinfolk of the Glass Walkers

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